In an age where technology has made multi-tasking the norm, and where many people are overwhelmed by a life that comes at them from every direction, how does an adult with ADHD find the peace and comfort that only comes with the ability to focus?
Unlike neurotypicals, adults with ADHD struggle to keep their minds calm rather than bouncing randomly from thought to thought. While the external world delivers a whirlwind of distractions at the drop of a cell phone or remote, it’s an ADHDer’s internal fount of energy, echoing and multiplying that cacophony of distractions that is most difficult to reckon with.
What does this mean? Adults with ADHD often struggle to manage their energy, such that even the simplest task can become challenging. How to quiet the maelstrom and find some peace? While finding one’s passion is good advice for anyone, it’s even better advice for the adult ADHDer.
If you are an ADHDer, developing strategies to still your mind can be useful to help you unwind and relax, but to find focus, it may be more helpful to head in the other direction. What stimulates you in a positive sense? What makes your heart race, your voice speed up when you speak of it? Think of the warm, captivating feeling you have when you’re talking about something you like.
Professional athletes call this, “the zone.” Others with a more spiritual bent call it “a place of forgetting,” a place where you literally forget yourself because you’re so wrapped up in your passion. For the adult ADHDer, finding this place means finding the source of what fuels them. It’s your filling station, the place where you find the right kind of stimulation that will help you achieve the focus you need.
Combine this fuel with a clear vision of your life’s dream and you just might have a way to turn down the volume on the rest of your life. Do you want a house in the country, a job that involves visiting exotic locales? Paint that mental picture and dive in! Yes, there’s more to it; you’ll need help and surrounding yourself with supportive people is key, but it’s a great start.
Any successful person will tell you that finding your passion can be a lot like falling in love. For the adult ADHDer, the love affair is that much sweeter: there’s nothing like quieting that inner noise and succeeding at life on your own terms.
I love that you said that peace could create a clear vision of your life’s dream. That is a absorbing, promising idea. I’m trying to find an ADD coach for my 8 year old, but I really don’t know who I can trust with my kid.
Hi Zachary, the best coach for your son is you. You need to get help to learn how to help your child.
It’s my belief that children that young cannot be coached in the true sense of the word because coaching assumes the coachee has all the resources necessary to succeed in his/her possession and children that young rely completely on their parents. I would suggest you find a coach who specializes in parent coaching for ADHD who could help you create the structure and knowledge your son needs to better manage his life. Also, an ADHD coach doesn’t have to be living close by. Most coaches meet clients on the phone or on Skype. You can start by going to http://www.addca.com. These are all trained ADHD coaches and find a coach who specializes in helping parents.
I wish you courage and joy!