5 Reasons to Unleash Your Creative Genius – Part 1

Surprised woman looking up with white backgroundCreative Geniuses (AKA ADHDers) often work undercover. Sometimes, you’re so well disguised you don’t even recognize your own inner Genius yearning for freedom. Of course, it can be hard to recognize your Creative Genius if you’ve spent many years ignoring it, tamping it down or covering it up so as to fit in with “normal” people.

As a Creative Genius, your brilliance lies in your non-conformity, but throughout history, non-conformists have been ridiculed, labeled as heretics, imprisoned or worse. Your parents, your friends and your school have invested tremendous effort to mould you, make you conform and teach you to do things the way everyone else does. Since the goal is standardization, they give no consideration to the effectiveness of this approach.

Little wonder many Creative Geniuses find themselves working in jobs they hate, doing things they aren’t particularly good at and expending enormous effort to overcome their weaknesses. You know (or at least suspect) you’d be much happier, and you’d probably be far more effective, if only you felt free to do what you really love and do it in a way that works for you, “acceptable” or not.

Many Creative Geniuses desperately want to explore and develop their talents, but find that when trying to keep up on the treadmill of life takes everything you have, there’s no time or energy left to even think about let alone make a change. Exhausted, sometimes it’s easier to blame your responsibilities and commitments to your job and family for your inability to pursue your passion or to explore and develop your strengths and talents.

But rather than blame anyone, consider instead that it is your responsibility to yourself and to your family to live your best life, to inspire, to motivate and to lead your family. And the best way to lead is by example. You will succeed when you pursue your passion, doing things your own way and creating in the way only you can. Even better, you will show (instead of just telling) your children that they too can live a successful life, not by conforming but by standing out, not by playing it safe but by throwing themselves wholeheartedly into life.

What better lesson could you teach your children, and who better to teach that most important of all lessons than a Creative Genius?
Here are five more reasons why you must unleash you Creative Genius:

1) It’s great to be great
You’re a Creative Genius, but when you don’t work with your strengths, you’re sapping all your greatness as surely as if you were Superman carrying a pocketful of kryptonite. Work with your strengths and reclaim your Creative Genius status. Instead of worrying about fitting in, you’ll shine, and when you shine, you share the best of yourself with your family and the world.

2) You can only truly be happy when pursuing your passion
Nothing is more motivating, energizing and inspiring than pursuing your passion. Little wonder since your passions are where your Creative Genius lies. No one is happier than a person striving for greatness while chasing a dream that ignites his or her passions. What’s more, happiness attracts happiness; your happiness grows exponentially, and your happiness rubs off on the people around you.

Many of my coaching clients struggle with the decision to strike out in a new direction in life. They fear leaving the status, perks and big money their unfulfilling career provided, assuming that pursuing their passion means abandoning those things. Passion and profits are not mutually exclusive, but while you may lose some of those things, you’ll gain a huge amount of satisfaction and joy in your life.

Continue to Part 2

Related posts:

Strengthened by Adversity

The Best Time to Have Adult ADHD

Sing Your Heart Out

Who Are You Not To Be Great?

What on Earth Is a Creative Genius Coach?

I’ve been coaching ADHD adults for five years. I’ve been married to an ADHDer for 26 years, and I raised a daughter with ADHD as well. However, you may have noticed that in my recent articles, I’ve begun to use “Creative Genius” rather than ADHD when I describe my clients. I’m even changing the name of my blog to “Unleash Your Creative Genius.”

I’m not changing my coaching clientele, so you might wonder why I would change the name of my blog. It was not an easy decision, but I feel it’s the right one. I’ve always preferred to define things by what’s right rather than by focusing on what’s wrong. As your coach, I must believe in your abilities. After all, there will be times, especially early in our relationship, when I’ll be the only one who does! Your family may doubt you, your boss may doubt you, your friends may doubt you… and you’ll almost certainly doubt yourself. You’ll appreciate having someone in your corner.

I have no problem being in your corner. When I work with my clients, I am constantly amazed by your positive characteristics – your ability to hyperfocus, your passion and excitement (for just about everything!), your astonishing creativity – and I choose to focus on those positive traits rather than on your occasional distractibility, your forgetfulness or your struggle to follow through on projects.

I am not minimizing the impact of ADHD on the adults who live with it or on their families. Nor am I trying to “pretend it doesn’t exist.” I speak from personal experience when I describe the devastating effects ADHD has had on my daughter and on my husband. I would never deny that without the right help and knowledge, life with ADHD is something to endure rather than enjoy.

However, what you focus on grows. If you focus on the problems of ADHD, you’ll have more problems. However, if you focus on developing your strengths and talents, forget about trying to fit in and throw yourself wholeheartedly into the pursuit of your passion, you’ll soon discover that, ADHD or not, you have many positive traits. Focus on those and guess what grows?!

Watching my husband transform from a struggling project manager to a successful vice-president was astounding, and the inspiration for me becoming an ADHD coach. Five years of working with ADHDers has confirmed that my husband’s story, while inspiring, was not unique. Many, if not most, adults “suffering from” ADHD are Creative Geniuses who simply have not yet tapped into their strengths. In a statement to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, Professor Michael Fitzgerald agreed, describing links between ADHD and creativity, risk-taking, and high levels of novelty seeking, the very characteristics that are the keys to success as an artist or entrepreneur!

I see the qualities of a Creative Genius every day in my clients, who yes, are ADHD adults, but who are also quite often artists, authors, inventors and/or entrepreneurs (as many as 50% of all entrepreneurs have ADHD, were diagnosed with ADHD as children or show many of the characteristics of ADHD adults). Your ability to hyperfocus on activities that truly interest you allows you to optimize learning, providing the perfect incubator for developing your Creative Genius. A quick look at some of the most creative people in almost any field today reveals that most share many ADHD traits, and more than a few have confirmed their diagnosis of ADHD.

Creative greats such as Oscar-winner Sir Anthony Hopkins, entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson (founder, Virgin Enterprises), entrepreneur David Neeleman (founder, Jet Blue Airlines and inventor of the electronic airline ticket), TV handyman Ty Pennington (Extreme Home Makeovers), TV host Donny Deutsch (Big Ideas TV show), writer, actor and TV producer Rick Green (The Red Green Show, ADD and Loving It), award-winning actor Patrick McKenna (Traders,The Red Green Show, and ADD and Loving It) and Howie Mandel (Who Wants to Be A Millionaire) all use their great passion, energy, propensity for risk taking, creativity and their ability to hyperfocus to develop their talents with amazing results.

I have changed the name of my blog because, while I still help adults with ADHD overcome the negative impact of ADHD in their lives, I’m not coaching an ADHDer; I coach the Creative Genius that is within you.

Tell me what you think of this new direction.

Related posts:

Sir Anthony Hopkins

Who Are You Not To Be Great?

CADDAC 2010 ADHD Conference & Comedy Night

Wanted to let you know that I’ll be speaking in Toronto on April 25th and hope that if you’re in the Toronto area, you’ll attend this really cool conference on ADD, a rare event in Canada.

CADDAC 2010 ADHD Conference & Comedy Night

A One Time Weekend Event That Can’t Be Missed

For Parents and Caregivers, Adults and Adolescents with ADHD and their Families, Educators, and Medical Professionals

Our featured speaker this year is the renowned Thomas E. Brown PhD. Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine, Associate Director of the Yale Clinic for Attention and Related Disorders, and well known author.

Our addtional speakers are Rick and Ava Green, Dr. Kenny Handelman, Dr, Laurie Dietzel, Linda Walker, Laura MacNiven, Dianne Azzarello and Heidi Bernhardt

Date: Saturday April the 24th – Childhood ADHD
Sunday April the 25th – Adult & Adolescent ADHD

Location: Blue Danube Banquet Facilities
1686 Ellesmere Road, Toronto

Comedy Night Fund Raiser:

Featuring Rick Green with highlights of his one man show and Dave Hemstad performaing his comedy act including ADD and Sports.

ALSO
Don’t miss our “Dinner & Interactive Forum” with the conference speakers and comedians.

For more information: http://www.caddac.ca/cms/page.php?199

The Best New Year’s Resolution? No More Running Away

Most people run away from New Year’s resolutions. That’s because typically, New Year’s resolutions don’t work very well. They last an average of 17 days… for adults with ADHD it’s likely closer to 5 days! Ever wonder why New Year’s resolutions haven’t worked for you? Maybe you need to stop running away.

As an ADHDer, you receive plenty of suggestions for resolutions you need to make, from your spouse, parents, colleagues, boss and friends, about your tardiness, disorganization, poor productivity, impulsiveness… need I go on? Always the people-pleaser, you impulsively (Oops! One down already!) resolve to be on time, better organized, and more productive this year. A few days later, you throw up your hands in surrender… nothing works.

These types of resolutions come ready-made with two problems: 1) you’re running away from something you don’t want instead of towards something you do want, and because of that, 2) your motivation quickly disappears and you must rely on willpower.

There’s nothing exciting about working on your weaknesses. You don’t dream of being less weak; you dream of being stronger. Since your resolution doesn’t excite and energize you, each day you will yourself to be “less weak.” Unfortunately, willpower is a finite resource. Relying on willpower to change an ingrained habit is like dog sledding across the Sahara with a team of Chihuahuas!

2010 could be the year you achieve great things

2010 could be the year you achieve great things (they’re great because they’re things that you actually want!) and overcome some of your weaknesses in the process. Find goals that ROCK you and compel you to change. Choose resolutions that fuel your resolve in the face of difficulty, that move you toward something YOU want and that allow you to work in your areas of strengths.

Move toward your strengths, not away from your weaknesses

Don’t resolve “not be tardy.” Instead, resolve to live a calmer, more harmonious and Zen life. If you really want to live a calmer life, you’ll quickly realize that scrambling to get to appointments on time is stressing you out. You realize that if you plan your time, organize your things so you know where your keys are when it’s time to go and leave early, you’ll arrive calm, in control and totally Zen (and as a bonus, you won’t be late!)

Instead of resolving to manage your time better, resolve to take on a new hobby or spend time each week developing a new skill that takes advantage of one of your strengths. To free up the time to do something you really want to do, you’ll be motivated to organize your things so you won’t waste 45 minutes a day looking for them.

Before long, you have a new hobby you love and you’re a calmer, happier person to boot! Getting better organized and improving your time management is just a means to an end, a happy coincidence. Spending more time doing what you like to do is the fuel that takes you there.

Take a new approach towards goal setting

Take a new approach to your New Year’s resolutions for 2010. Run toward your strengths instead of away from your weaknesses. Ask yourself:

  1. What are my greatest strengths, abilities and interests?
  2. If I knew I couldn’t fail, what outrageously compelling resolutions would I make this year?
  3. What parts of my life would I be willing, even eager to change if it was the only way to honor my outrageous and compelling resolutions?

And if you’d like to learn how to free up some time to pursue your resolutions and compelling goals with ten amazing strategies that improve your productivity by working with your strengths instead of against them, get your free (but amazingly valuable report!), Productivity Myths Busted now.

ADHD and Motivation Part 3: Find Your Real Fuel

full_tankIn the first article of the series I introduced the option to inject interest in anything you want to complete to help increase your motivation. The second article of the series introduced the possibility of using momentum to overcome your motivation issues when you have ADHD. This third article is sure to really rock your world.

Some people call the Maximum Productivity Makeover for ADHD Adults the ultimate time management program for ADHDers. Actually, this self-management system will teach you how to manage your time, energy and life. You learn amazingly powerful strategies proven effective by ADHDers just like you, who struggled just like you, but who’ve transformed their lives completely using these very strategies. You can use it to make your dreams come true too.

The Maximum Productivity Makeover is hard work though. I’m a firm believer in working smarter rather than harder, but it’s still hard work to learn how to work smarter (Annoying conundrum there, isn’t it? Seems there’s going to be hard work either way… so I highly recommend the approach with less work… learn to work smart!) Ok, so there’s work involved. But if it’s worth it, hard work doesn’t scare you, right? Especially when you can see the payoff. That payoff, what we call your “fuel,” is actually your key to success.

You’ll do the work, in fact, you won’t even notice that there’s hard work involved, if the reason driving you to do the work truly motivates you. All you need is a good reason. And there’s only one good reason for you to tackle any program, including The Maximum Productivity Makeover. What’s that reason? You’re the only one who knows what it is. But you may have buried it long ago.

You want to transform your life because the way you’re living now doesn’t match the amazing future you imagined for yourself before “life” started to beat you down. Before you struggled to sit still in school. Before all those report cards suggested you could do much better, if only you tried harder. Before your career so drastically failed to measure up to your aspirations. Before your spouse despaired of ever having help around the house instead of what seems like just another kid.

If you want a complete transformation so you can have a “normal” life, you need to keep digging. No child ever dreamed of having a “normal life,” unless a normal life includes slaying dragons! If you want an amazingly creative mind focused like a laser with the power to realize any dream you imagine just to impress your… wife, boss, mom, dad… you’re not there yet. Keep digging.

Keep digging until you find that old, buried, hidden and mistreated dream. Keep digging until you feel the passion you felt when you were younger and not as “realistic” as you’ve become.

You’ll know you’ve found that passion again, because your life will change… dramatically, drastically, amazingly! While programs like the Maximum Productivity Makeover for ADHD Adults provide the tools, it is YOU, your dreams, that provide the fuel! And the fuel determines the miles you travel, and the speed you move.

ADHD and Motivation Part 2: Using Momentum

The title probably gave it away, but this is the second part in a series of articles. In the first article of the series , we talked about injecting interest, novelty, challenge and sometimes urgency to make a boring task more enticing.

Today, we’ll look at a way to motivate you to do a task you find boring or difficult (and not in a fun, challenging way) and which you just can’t make interesting.

First, let’s stay away from guilt. You are not the problem, the task is. It’s boring, or worse. Guilt doesn’t work, and the negative feelings guilt leads to can throw you into a whirlpool of negativity.

You can recognize the dangerous slope to guilt when you start asking yourself, “Why?” Why can’t I do this? Why can’t I just focus? “Why” is not a productive question, and even if you had the answer, you’d be no closer to getting your task done.

There is, however, a guilt-free way of getting that challenging task done. In fact, this approach is so powerful I often refer to as an ADHDer’s “secret weapon.” There are two different ways of using momentum to tackle any task; we’ll look at one in this article, and the second in Part 3 of this series.

A physics law states, “An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rests tends to stay at rest.” If you can’t get started on a task, it’s very likely that situation is not going to change. If you can get moving, however, it’s much easier for you to keep moving.

Adults with ADHD often struggle with motivation because, unlike neurotypicals, when a task is boring, your brain doesn’t activate at all. While neurotypicals may find the task equally boring, they’ll still be able to activate their brains enough to focus and get it done.

ADHDers facing a boring task struggle to get their brains energized, and without that energy, you are unable to block out distractions so you can focus and get it done. Instead, you notice every stimulus and if anything is more enticing, before you know you’re doing anything but the boring task.

You can use momentum like a booster cable in a car. You can jumpstart your brain using a short, interesting or energizing task or activity. Do something you enjoy, like playing a musical instrument, drawing or taking a brisk walk outside. Once your brain is “in motion,” you can stop the activity you enjoy and move quickly to work on the boring task for as long as your brain can take it.

If you find yourself struggling again, move back to the short energizing task, a bit like putting your foot on the gas to keep a sputtering motor from dying.

Try it. I’m sure you’ll find it very effective. I’ll see you back here soon for part 3 of this series on ADHD and motivation, where we’ll look at another way you can use momentum to get more done.

In the meantime, please share your ideas for short, energizing or interesting activities you use to jumpstart your brain and activate your secret weapon, momentum.

ADHD and Motivation Part 1: Injecting Interest

Many of my clients have been dealing with the effect of ADHD on motivation lately. Of course, it is a common problem as ADHD and a lack of motivation often go hand in hand. It’s a challenging issue obviously important to many of you, but there’s good news; there are many strategies to help overcome your challenges. I’ll be devoting several posts to it. Be sure to join us.

Lack of motivation is a common but erroneous complaint among ADHDers. As an ADHDer, when you face a boring task, your brain just doesn’t activate, so it’s difficult to take action. You turn the key to start your turbo brain and nothing happens.

If you were a motorcycle, you wouldn’t blame a lack of motivation; you wouldn’t say a motorcycle is lazy. Unfortunately, however, you blame yourself for this problem. But like a motorcycle, the problem is either a lack of battery power, spark plugs that aren’t firing or not enough fuel in your tank. Of course, other issues might exist but we’ll discuss these at another time.

Let’s stick with the motorcycle analogy for a moment, and see how you might deal with this issue. If your battery is low on power, maybe you’re not recharging your battery. Sleep deprivation (or too much sleep), little or no exercise, poor nourishment, and your mood all contribute to insufficient power in your battery.

Proper self-care is your first line of defense against motivation problems. Solving these issues is simple but not always easy. To get enough sleep, exercise and to eat well requires that you be organized enough to do so. If you aren’t (or don’t feel) organized enough to take care of yourself, along with handling work, family and so on, consider seeking help to get organized.

If you’re well-rested, well-fed and getting enough exercise, then what appears as a lack of motivation is often the result of a lack of interest in the task or the results of the task. ADHDers are interest-based performers; without interest, someone may as well have put sugar in your tank. Your brain synapses won’t fire very well, making you feel sluggish instead of eager to move ahead.

If the task is truly boring, consider delegating or dropping it (more on delegating in future posts). If that is not possible and the task is essential, you will need to jumpstart your engine by injecting interest, novelty, challenge or urgency into the task.

This is really your chance to excel. I find most ADHDers are extremely creative, outside-the-box thinkers, so use that strength to make any task more interesting.

For example, you keep putting off paying your bills because it’s soooooo boring. Instead of sitting at your desk secluded in your office, bring your bills together along with your checkbook to a comfortable coffee shop – I love Second Cup, their Continental Black coffee reminds me of my vacation in Italy this past summer – and pay your bills as you leisurely sip your favorite blend of coffee or tea. You’ve just injected novelty into the task and greatly increased your chances of completing it.

I’d also like to encourage you to share your brilliant ideas with your fellow ADHDers. Share how you inject interest, novelty, challenge or urgency when dealing with boring tasks with me, either by posting it as a reply here on the blog, or contacting me directly (Linda at – replace at with @ – coachlindawalker.com) and I’ll gather everyone’s ideas and share them with all of you – for free.

Watch for my next post on ADHD and motivation where you’ll learn how to use momentum as a secret weapon to complete any task.

Managing Work-Related Stress for ADHD Adults

Most people are feeling stressed, and this is especially true of many ADHD adults.  The downturn in the economy, climbing employer and client expectations, and an ever growing To-Do list, keep us constantly trying to do more in less time.

More fearful for their jobs than ever, ADHD adults often stay late to do their work.  Arriving home mentally exhausted, you are more likely to suffer from anxiety and of course, long hours and low energy don’t help them create with a more balanced life as a way to cope with the anxiety.

This ADHD-friendly success tips will help you manage your work-related stress:

Create a more balanced life
You must connect with family, friends, your community and nature to counter the effect of work-related stress.  Take up a hobby that allows you to be creative and in the moment, yes, even if you don’t think you have enough time or energy.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised.  Even though I was launching two programs, I signed up for a pottery class recently and my stress level has dropped.

Keep a positive attitude
Worry, frustration and negative thoughts rob you of quality time and happiness.  Notice your thoughts and ask yourself, “Is this productive?”  Will you solve the problem by constantly thinking about it, especially if you’re thinking negatively?  No!  Instead, choose to think differently.

Here’s an example.  The common reaction to someone cutting you off in traffic is to get mad and stay mad all day; again, choose to think differently.  Often we get mad because that person cutting you off in traffic only reminds you other inconsiderate people or people you feel don’t respect you.  Instead of focusing on you, consider the other person’s point of view for a moment.  The person who cut you off probably woke up late and is frantically trying to get to work on time.  If you empathize with the person, thinking, “Poor guy, I know what that’s like”, it changes your attitude about the situation and diffuses negativity before it can ruin your day.

Learn to be more effective at work
Studies show that ADHD adults are less productive than non-ADHDers because the techniques they use to manage their productivity and their time aren’t compatible with their unique brain wiring.  ADHD-friendly strategies to manage your time and life can make you even more productive than your non-ADHD colleagues.

With improved productivity, you won’t need to work later, you’ll do more in less time using less energy and you’ll feel more satisfied and more confident.  You’ll come home at a reasonable hour and with enough energy to enjoy the rest of your life.  Your improved productivity will also reassure you that you’ve done everything possible to keep your job, which in turn will reduce stress.

Stressful situation will always exist, good economy or bad.  You determine your level of stress and anxiety by the way you respond to them.

If you’d like to learn how you can better manage work-related stress, check out The Maximum Productivity Makeover for ADHD Adults. The next session begins on November 3rd.

Productivity is More Than Getting Work Done

The entrepreneurs, ADHD adults and other creative geniuses who come to me are usually struggling with productivity. Perhaps that’s why my first questions are so unexpected. They’re surprised when I ask how much sleep they’re getting, or how often they’re able to exercise. They’re shocked when I ask about their hobbies, their beliefs and how much time they spend doing things that interest them or that allow them to be creative. A common misconception, they equate “productivity” with getting things done, especially at work.

True productivity must include the “stuff” that supports your well-being, your happiness and your goals. Of course, that includes work-related productivity but it also includes honoring your commitments to your friends and family and more importantly, to yourself.

Everyone benefits from seven to eight hours of shut-eye per night and a minimum of 20 minutes of exercise each day. In fact, anyone who doesn’t get enough sleep can experience ADHD-like symptoms. However, for adults with ADHD, sufficient sleep and regular exercise will improve your ability to concentrate, your memory and your ability to deal with stress.

Awareness of how you work best allows you to optimize the use of your time so that you’ll have “spare” time when you can inject interesting activities in your life. If, instead of working two extra hours at work, you enrolled in an art or dance class, or even just spent quality time connecting with your friends and family, you’d have more energy and you’d even be more productive at work. Oh, and you’d feel a lot happier.

Of course, this process feeds on itself. Becoming more productive at work would free up even more time you can dedicate to exercising your creativity, forging new connections and pursuing leisure activities. And that’s why my first questions are a little surprising but entirely necessary. Improving your productivity starts with having a healthier lifestyle.

If you want more information about improving your overall productivity, visit http://www.productivitymythsbusted.com to request a free report called Top 10 Productivity Myths… Busted!

ADHD Vacation Strategies

organized-family_vacationI’m finally back from vacation with my husband. While I’m a bit sad my vacation is over, I’m happy to be back to my life’s purpose: helping entrepreneurs, artists, ADHD adults and other creative geniuses take advantage of and develop their strengths. Visit my Facebook page at http://tinyurl.com/adhdcoachand become a fan.

I realize that while I’m just getting back from my vacation, many of you may be on the way to your vacation. Vacation is a great time to reconnect with family, friends and activities you enjoy. It can also create chaos in your life, especially if you’ve managed to create structures and systems that work well for you.

ADHDers, I’ve who, with coaching have built habits, reached life-changing objectives and organized their lives fear losing what they’ve achieved because of the disruption that vacation brings to your day-to-day. After all, there isn’t any structure, no more commitments and no time clocks telling you when to be where.

Here are a few steps to felling more in control and yet still enjoy your vacation:

1. First, realize that you are not your systems and habits!
They don’t define you; they are tools you use to make your life easier. You’ll be able to create habits to support you while you vacation.

2. Continue using the habits and systems that don’t rob you of fully enjoying your vacation and that give you energy.
If you exercise in the morning, keep it up. If one of your habits is to make your bed as soon as you get out of bed, keep that up. These don’t take away from your vacation time and may increase your energy and reduce your distractibility.

3. Make lists
Don’t rely on your memory. Lists that will support you include a list of things you need to take with you, to bring back, to manage while your away (stop the newspaper delivery, get the dog babysat, getting your plants watered etc.), a list of activities you want to attempt to include.

4. Use your creativity and your sense of adventure to create a more exciting vacation.

5. Stick with your strengths and get help around your weaknesses.
Duane has a passion of art and a great sense of direction. He sought out the most wonderful works of art hidden off the beaten track throughout Rome. Without him, I would have missed most of the exciting things we saw, and I’d still be lost in Rome! On the other hand, Duane tends to struggle with administrative details like making travel arrangements, juggling reservation, tickets, insurance and organizing the finances, so I was happy to help out there. With each of us contributing to the effort using our strengths, the vacation was thoroughly enjoyable!

Vacations should be as fun as you remember when you were a child and summer holidays stretched out before you, filled with that tantalizing mix of lazy days and exciting new adventures. If you feel anxious before your vacation, remember that what you’re feeling is normal. Even if it is “as good as a rest,” everyone struggles to adapt to change. Applying these five strategies will help ensure your vacation is restful instead of stressful.